His smile
by FromThePast
Summary: Germany takes care of a sick and delirious Italy after escaping the mansion... (Post-Hetaoni one shot)


**This is a one-shot that I wrote for my side-blog "littlegeritathings" and I really liked it so I'm posting it here! I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 ** _It's July 22nd now, precisely 6 months after escaping the mansion._**

 ** _Words cannot explain how blessed I feel to have Italy by my side._**

 ** _He seems to understand his surroundings better which is a big improvement from when he panicked constantly over not being inside the mansion._**

 ** _The dreams however have not disappeared. He still wakes up bleary and confused; He can't quite tell if he's still dreaming when he wakes up and it takes a lot of coaxing to convince him otherwise._**

 ** _Sometimes I find him mumbling to himself. I try to talk him out of it but it's sometimes like he can't even hear me. He says stuff like "It won't stop" and "It's not over". I can only assume it's the mansion he's talking about. That horrible place has dictated his life._**

 ** _I can't leave his side while he's asleep because I fear he'll wake up when I'm not there and break stuff again. He can sometimes be particularly violent in those cases._**

 ** _I've concluded he does not like classic antique clocks because they remind him of the ones we had to smash in the mansion._**

 ** _He has already broken the 4 I have in my house. I hid the other two because he continually punches the clocks after he smashes them and it makes his hands bleed. His impulses take advantage of him, I don't believe he has any conscience of why he does that because afterwards he looks horribly confused and starts to cry._**

 ** _I hate seeing him like this. I want to help him get better but I do understand this will take time._**

 ** _No one else gets it. They've actually insulted Italy for not recovering as fast as the rest of them._**

 ** _They don't understand that he's carried more burdens than us, he's been stuck in the mansion far longer than us, he has to watch us all die over and over, he sacrificed his life for us and they have the guts to insult him…After all he did._**

 ** _I don't care if they apologized, their words still stuck to me despite them going passed Italy's head due to illness._**

 ** _Only me, Japan, and Romano understand Italy. It's all clear to us now._**

 ** _When Italy gets better he'll have to return to work. Romano has emphasized on giving Italy enough time to recover completely before even thinking about working again. I can tell he'd feel guilty about how long his brother has filled in for him, and knowing Italy he'd want to jump back into it._**

 ** _I do worry._**

 ** _There are so many things that can trigger him that none of us understand, I'm afraid he'll panic._**

 ** _I don't want him to enter cardiac arrest ever again but I also don't want to be overly protective of him forever because then he'll catch on._**

 ** _We all need to be strong for him now._**

 ** _I want him to come back to us._**

 ** _I want the real Italy to come back to us._**

 ** _I just hope he's still in there._**

 ** _…_**

Germany put down his diary.

What started out as something he would vent in about Italy became him literally writing about Italy and his progress over the past few months.

He would often write while Italy slept since Italy didn't like the look of Germany's journal. It only took Italy seeing it once and freaking out over it for Germany to hide it awhile at all costs.

Italy slept for long periods of time on end. Sometimes, mostly during the beginning, he would sleep entire days away. Which wasn't bad, it was a lot healthier for him than when he would force himself awake.

But he always had trouble coming back into reality.

Sometimes Germany wished he could just sleep all the trauma away and bounce back as happy-go-lucky Italy…But that wasn't possible just yet.

It took a lot of time and dedication.

Germany honestly didn't mind that much. People often asked him if it was hard for him, and it was, but if Italy could walk straight through hell to prevent all their deaths then Germany could sure as hell take care of him while he was still a nervous wreck.

It was never physically or emotionally draining, the only thing that was really tough for Germany was the overwhelming realization that Italy was not the same.

He'd come back eventually but he'd never be the same as he was before the mansion.

He heard Italy waking up beside him.

It was always distinct because Italy would sometimes shoot up suddenly and even gasp as he wakes up; His dreams were always horribly vivid and it never was easy on him.

"Good morning" Germany turned to greet him from where he sat on the edge of the bed next to Italy's feet.

It wasn't actually morning, it was mid-afternoon, but Germany went along with it. Making Italy believe he was on schedule was better than him knowing he wasn't.

"…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep" Italy said.

Germany had heard this one before.

Right now Italy thinks he's waking up in the mansion, he believes his sleep was unintentional because he thought he still had to stay awake all night to keep watch for the monster.

"It's okay" Germany told him.

"Did…Did the thing come?" Italy sat up in bed and looked at him with half-lidded.

Germany helped calm his bed-head by ruffling up his hair, "It didn't come. We aren't in the mansion anymore".

Italy was aware of what he said; More aware than a few months ago.

He gazed his surroundings and said, "This…Isn't the mansion".

"This isn't the mansion" Germany repeated.

"This…Is?"

Germany felt his heart drop, "This is my room" he said.

This was Germany's room.

Italy slept over all the time. He would sneak in Germany's bed in this very room…And he couldn't remember it.

Italy's mind connected the dots and he let out a sigh, "I'm sorry Germany…Ugh, I'm so stupid"

"You aren't stupid Italy" Germany told him "You'll get over this eventually, I promise you this".

Italy didn't even want to look him in the eye, it was obvious he was disappointed in himself greatly. He probably thought he was being a burden, that was probably the main throughout going through his mind.

"Do you remember that promise I made you long ago?" Germany asked him "The one around 1939″.

Italy shook his head 'no'.

It was obvious, the mansion had eaten away at all of his memories, it was no wonder why Italy couldn't remember Germany's house at all, he barley remembers what his life is outside what happened in the mansion.

"You and me made a promise that we would always be there for each other and protect each other" Germany explained to him "And I gave you a necklace matching to mine".

Germany took out his Iron cross necklace from under his shirt and showed it to Italy who looked at it in awe.

"Do I still have it?" Italy asked.

"Probably, it might be at your brother's house, I could ask him to bring it over if you'd like" Germany said.

Italy was Italy, he still loved that necklace without even remembering it.

"That'd be great!" Italy said with a bright smile.

Ah, there it is.

That's what gave Germany hope.

Italy's smile.

When he smiled it seemed to keep the world spinning and the sun shining.

When Italy smiled, there was hope.

Germany knew that he often used to take that priceless smile for granted.

Now that they were so rare Germany found he treasured every little grin Italy would make at something funny or something cute.

Germany sure to write that down in a journal entry.

After months of not writing in that journal, Germany decided to add just one sentence to it

 ** _I really love Italy's smile_**


End file.
